Yesterday I met founders of a biotech company that provides …

Yesterday I met founders of a biotech company that provides genetic screening tools for embryos created during IVF (in vitro fertilization).

The idea of “designed babies” is gaining more and more attention. Today, parents can test embryos to get information about potential health risks and even predicted intelligence of their future children.

At first glance, this sounds reasonable. If you have resources, why wouldn’t you want to give your future child the best possible start? A healthier and more intelligent child may have an easier life at least in theory.

But there are things potential parents should really think about.

Intelligence and health have significant genetic components, but genetics explains probabilities, not destiny. Polygenic scores account for only a portion of trait variation. There is currently no solid evidence that selecting embryos based on these scores will lead to happier, healthier, or more successful adults.

Because this technology is new, these children would be the first generation on whom science can truly test these ideas. Real conclusions could only be drawn decades later and even then, it would be impossible to compare outcomes properly, because the embryos that were not chosen never had a chance to live. Randomness is part of nature, and while nature does not always choose “the best,” it often finds what is optimal. In this case, we remove randomness but we also remove our ability to understand whether that choice was truly better.

We know how cells divide, but we still don’t know why life unfolds the way it does. The mother’s body remains the most complex and intelligent system life has ever created. What if, in the process of selection, there is something we still don’t understand something essential for an embryo to develop important qualities we can’t measure yet?

Research consistently shows that parental health, emotional maturity, and environment play a crucial role in who a child becomes. Beyond genetics, many studies demonstrate that love, emotional support, acceptance, and secure attachment have a profound influence on mental health, resilience, relationships, and overall life satisfaction often more than IQ alone. This is not “soft psychology.” It is supported by attachment theory, developmental neuroscience, and long-term studies like the ACEs research and the Dunedin Study.

So maybe a better investment is not optimizing embryos, but choosing a partner with whom you can build emotional stability, and investing in your own emotional development through therapy, reflection, and practices like meditation.

In the end, what do most parents truly want for their children? To be the smartest person in the room? Or to feel happy, balanced, and at peace with themselves?

Ideally, of course, we want it all. And that responsibility lies not in technology, but in parents becoming healthy, kind, emotionally and cognitively mature people themselves.

I’m not saying we should ignore medicine. Preventing or treating serious diseases is important. But when there is no medical necessity, maybe it’s wiser to pause and allow science more time to understand what it is touching.

This may sound emotional but emotions are what make us human. Loving and accepting our children matters in the same way we choose our partners: there is no perfection, and that’s exactly what makes humans diverse and interesting. If someone is not ready to love a child who might be very different, not very ambitious, or not exceptionally smart, maybe they are not ready to have children at all.

The best things a parent can give are kindness, compassion, presence, and support.

And one last emotional thought there is something deeply beautiful about creating life through intimacy, connection, and love, not optimization.