· 2 min read

“The key to healthy aging is relationships, relationships, relationships.”

– Robert Waldinger, Director, Harvard Study of Adult Development

In 1938, Harvard researchers began following two very different groups of men. The first were Harvard undergraduates, among them a young John F. Kennedy, future President of the United States. The second were young men from Boston’s poorest inner-city neighborhoods, selected by Harvard Law School professors working on juvenile delinquency research. Rich and poor, privileged and struggling, all tracked every two years for the rest of their lives. Decades later, the study expanded to include the men’s spouses and over 1,300 of their descendants. After 85 years, the findings pointed in one direction.

It wasn’t money, career success, diet, or exercise that determined who lived the longest and felt the happiest. It was the warmth and quality of their relationships.

  1. Relationships matter more than anything else People who felt closely connected to family, friends, and community were healthier and happier than those who didn’t. Not slightly healthier. Significantly so.

  2. Depth beats breadth Having a handful of genuinely warm and trusting relationships predicted wellbeing better than a wide social circle. Better than IQ. Better than social class.

  3. Loneliness is a health risk Being isolated turned out to be as physically damaging as smoking or heavy drinking. The people who kept close relationships lived longer. The ones who didn’t, often didn’t.

  4. Who you’re close to at 50 shapes how you age Satisfaction with relationships at midlife predicted physical health in old age better than cholesterol levels did. That finding alone should make us rethink what we mean by taking care of ourselves.

  5. Midlife is a turning point The people who thrived most in their later years were those who, somewhere in midlife, stopped asking what the world could give them and started asking what they could give back.

  6. People change, at any age The study put to rest the idea that character is fixed by 30. Some of the most lost young men became the most grounded and fulfilled old ones.

The Harvard Study of Adult Development is one of the longest scientific studies of human life ever conducted, now in its second generation of participants.