We spend most of our lives inside our own heads.

Thinking about what to say. What to do. How to act. What our plans are. How we feel. How others see us.

Our thoughts keep circling around ourselves.

And only in some rare moments do we suddenly begin to think about another person.

But even then, most of the time, we are still thinking about ourselves next to them: what we mean to them, what we do for them, how they see us, what exists between us.

And maybe kindness begins in a very small space between thinking about ourselves and thinking about someone else.

In the moment when a person pauses and genuinely tries, even just a little, to think about another person’s feelings the way that person would think about their own.

Of course, we do not always get it right. Sometimes we only imagine we understand another person. Sometimes it is just projection or mind reading.

That is why it is so important to ask.

“Did I understand you correctly?” “Would you feel comfortable if I shared this with you?” “Do you want to hear this?” “May I tell you something personal?”

Maybe that is what separates kindness from selfishness.

A kind person, even while thinking about their own feelings and needs, does not forget that another inner world exists beside them.